Hineyni, for me, is the most powerful word in Genesis. Abraham says it to God. It means, "Here I am," but it is not a geographical answer. It is not an answer to "Where are you?" It is the response to the challenge to acknowledge the truth of the present moment; to recognize what needs to be done, and to be prepared to do it. Abraham says "Hineyni" three times in the most terrible of circumstances.

Mindfulness is also "Here I am, not hiding," and it is also an expression of freedom. Even when experience is painful, especially when it is dire, mindfulness is freedom from extra anguish, from the extra pain of futile struggle. "This is what is true. These are the possibilities. I understand the necessary response." And sometimes, "There are no possibilities other than surrender. So I surrender."

When I was a child and heard that some people were able to go to the gas chamber saying, "I believe with perfect faith..." I didn't know what perfect faith was, but I knew that I wanted it. If it were possible, in such unspeakable situations, for speech - declarative, affirmative, fearless speech - to find its voice, I wanted to know "How?" I wanted to be able to do it.

I try to pray as if my prayers make a difference, but I don't believe that prayer saves us from terrible things happening. Terrible things do happen. I do believe that fully mindful prayer, undistracted presence, establishes the capacity of the mind to see clearly, and, when necessary, to surrender gracefully. Hineyni.

Hineyni is also the imperative to be fully present in moments of special joy, as well as in every day moments of the amazing blessing of simply being alive. My father said grace at dinnertime, and sometimes, probably in an attempt to be modern and funny, he would say, "Well, here we are again, God."

That was it. The whole grace. Maybe that is the whole grace. Here we are. Here I am. Hineyni.



- Sylvia Boorstein, "That's Funny, You Don't Look Buddhist: On Being a Faithful Jew and a Passionate Buddhist"